All You Have is Who You Are

Sometimes I lock myself in my room and sit criss crossed on the floor next to an open window and contemplate my life. I let the night tune of wind and crickets dance through the air as I think about who I am and where I want to go and who I want to be.

Sometimes I cry and sometimes I pray and sometimes I do a little bit of both. 

Sometimes I just sit in silence, a sound that is a lot louder than one would think. 

Sometimes I let my dog join me and we sit and listen to whatever song makes my soul happy at the moment. I let her lay in my lap and in exchange she listens like an old friend. 

And sometimes, I think it's healthy to be alone. At the end of the day all we have is who we are, not your bestfriend that you hang out with so much that you're practically the same person. Not the girl that you watch from a distance, desperately wishing and trying to become. Not your parents or the sibling that overshadows you. 

I've been having a lot of these moments of thinking and reflecting and contemplating. I think about the people I love and the relationships that need mending. I think about what kind of person I'm perceived as, even though I don't think I should be. I think about what's the most important and what doesn't really matter anymore and things that aren't a priority but should be. I think about how four years ago this time in my life seemed so far away.

I think about how if my life was a salad, I would've made at least a dent by now.

So spend some time soul searching and path carving and life realization making. And most importantly, spend some time with yourself, because that's all you have. 

Have a fabulous day.