Ugh. High School. Post #4

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Introduction
Ugh. High School. Post #1
Ugh. High School. Post #2
Ugh. High School. Post #3

As I'm swimming (or should I use the word sinking?) deeper and farther into the waters of high school, I've come to a few realizations.

And once again I'm going to revert to the art of making my post into a list as, it makes me look like I know what I'm doing.

1. Give a Little
As much as teachers and parents and friends and our friends' parents and administrators and people in general shove down our throats the message of going to college, you'd think we'd get it. We need to make good grades. We need to apply ourselves. We need to think about the future. It's not necessarily about going to college either, it's truly about whether we're setting ourselves up for what's to come. Most high schoolers honestly don't give a shit (sorry for the wording, but it fits). We want to get by and still be cool and keep our boyfriends and go to the football game and shop and do what we want to do. Our priorities are screwed up. We don't understand that we need to pull our own weight or do more than just barely. All we have to do is give a little. I'm no perfect student, but I got that realization early on. I gave a lot and when I saw people flip over their papers only to receive a bad grade on the other side, I knew that if they just a gave a little more they would do better because I had seen them do better. Honestly, nothings more irritating than smart kids giving up.

2. Everybody Hurts
Why do we as girls, bring down other girls, when we know how hard life can be....for a girl? And not just girls, boys too. I've cracked a joke about somebody, said something I shouldn't have, I've hurt people. We all have. We've also all been hurt. I've been made fun of, laughed at, even cried because of what I was going through. Not only have I hurt people, but I've been hurt. That's where it gets funny. Why do we hurt others, when we know just how it feels? I've even caught myself. As soon as the words tumbled out of my mouth I've been flashed to a time when I was in the other person's position. My guilt then consumes me and I apologize but in reality, those words should've never left my brain. At times you have to be conscious of other people's feelings as hard as that seems.

3. Learn to Play the Game
This one almost contradicts #1. Sometimes you just need to learn how to play the game and play it well. At times this could mean taking the shorter route or the road more often traveled, but you have to find the happy medium between #1 and #3. I can't tell you what that medium is for you. It depends on what your goals are and what you're capable of doing, so only you can find it. But sometimes you don't always have to give 110% in P.E. class if you know what I mean.

4. Get as Much Education as You Can
College is freaking expensive. It's like you get free education for thirteen dagum years and then it's like BAM. We're now going to charge you $25,000+ a year for education. So take advantage of your last four or three or two or how many ever years of free education you have left. Take AP classes which could mean getting a semester or even a year worth of college credits out of the way for free. Free is such a beautiful thing. I love free apps. Free food. Freedom. And while we're at it, free education. So take as much advantage as possible during your years of high school in order to get all you can from this education system.

Have a fabulous Friday.

Wordless Wednesdays {Black & White}

Poetry Mondays: As I Look Up and Stare

I used to write poetry a good bit when I was in middle school. As a class assignment we had to write a new poem at least once or twice a week and I loved it. I loved coming up with metaphors and personifying nature and the way my words flowed. I quit for quite some time, but I'm coming back. Every Monday I hope to bring you a new poem written by yours truly, starting today.


The finger length grass brushes my ankles
like a paint brush on a canvas
although this one leaves me no masterpiece.

The sun beats down
filtering between millions of leaves
as I look up and stare.

The forest encompasses my body
as I lay on a barren piece of soil
as I look up and stare.

Every plant dances with the wind
to the tune sung by a lone bird
as I look up and stare.

I catch glimpses of clouds through the trees
and the warmth of beaming rays on my body

as I look up and stare.

The fragrance of sweet sweet flowers
fill the air and blow with the wind
as I look up and stare.

I close my eyes seeing nothing but black

a scary, unknown black 

then I open them

And look up and stare.


Have a fabulous Monday.

Wanting

There's a lot of life left in my life. It's like a peice of notebook paper with only one line written in and a lot more to fill. 

I see the world as a big place with big opportunities to change it. After I graduate college I just want to drift from country to country, volunteering my time, offering my services, and giving my love. I  want to settle down with my husband and adopt our family. I want to bring in children from our own country and from other countries and welcome them into our home. 

I have so much desire to do all these bigger and better things welled up inside me. I want to do things and meet interesting people and make my time on Earth fabulous. I want to have some beautiful and worthy story to tell my old teachers and old friends and old colleagues when I happen to run into them years later.

Not everything that I want to accomplish is big. I want to learn sign language and how to knit and how to ride a unicycle and how to write with my opposite hand and how to solve a rubics cube and how to sew. I want to read fifty books in one summer. I want to go a whole month where I write a blog post every day. I want to save up $500 and gamble it all. I want to get a tattoo. I want to write a book.

I want to save someone's life. I want to play an integral part in someone's personal world. I want to loosen someone's burden. I want to make someone feel loved.

I never want this "wanting" desire to flicker out. It fuels my character and the decisions that I make and the paths that I travel. It brings me blessings and memories and an excitement for who I could become. It makes me want to take leaps as big as the Grand Canyon and give so much of myself to others. It makes me want to be that change, be that person, be that movement that inspires people.

I want to change the world, would you like to join me?

Have a fabulous day.

Love

I thought I'd try my hand at poetry. Enjoy.


I love mowing grass

and the purr of my cat

and the way light flows through elegant stained glass,

and the lull of crashing waves

and getting back good grades

and the sweet smell right after it rains,

and reality TV

and the optical illusion of a never ending sea

and the seemingly foreign tune sung by the first bird of spring.

I love the word love

a paradox when thought about;

it grows stronger with the things that one would think would break it down.

Ugh. High School. Post #3

Yea I know. I'm like super late on posting this. But whatevs.

Intro
Ugh. High School. Post #1
Ugh. High School. Post #2

This goes out to the rising ninth graders. The freshmen. The freshies. The freshmeat. The newbies. I could go on. And on. And on.

My first day of high school seemed like ages ago. I remember going to open house and leaving thinking I'd know where everything was. Then add approximately 1,100 more people in the hallways, guys who had deeper voices than Darth Vader, and girls with bigger boobs than all of the freshmen combined. Yea. It was a little difficult.

I was late for my biology class. (One that was filled with ALL upperclassmen except for three people. Can you say embarrassing?) I wandered the lunch room aimlessly trying to find my friends for a solid two minutes. Doesn't seem like much, but it was. I walked to each class like a total dweeb with my schedule in hand, the universal sign of a freshmen.

When I entered high school I was all like, "Bro. There's no drinking or partying or sex or drugs or bad things. High school is going to be totally cool, bro." (If you didn't read that in a hippy's voice then read it again.) But I was wrong. Don't get sucked in. Know it's happening. Be a good friend to the friends who are engaging in said illegal things. Just don't become one of them.

Them being the good kids. The kids who were smart. The kids who were strong in athletics. The kids who wanted to be nurses and lawyers and president. And then they started sliding down the hill. A hill that was built on good grades and supportive parents and a clear and bright future.

A couple sips. A pack of cigarettes. One party. That's all it takes before you lose your grip and start sliding. It may seem like a bright area to travel down at the time, but it'll come back to you. I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy yourself every once in a while, but be conscious of what you're doing and know when you need to stop. Set boundaries with your friends, with your parents, and with yourself.

If any parents are reading this, I've got some words of wisdom to share from my mom to you. I remember in seventh grade I went to my first "sketchy" party. My mom had heard me talk about the girl hosting the party, but she had never met her parents or the girl herself. After much pleading and promising, my mom allowed me to go and I will ALWAYS remember what she told me as I got out of the car.

"I know you're a good kid. I know you make good choices, but things happen. If somethings going on you don't like, if you want to leave early, if you get uncomfortable, you can call. I won't ask any questions, I'll just take you home. When you start driving and you take yourself to parties, the offer still stands. If you're uncomfortable driving home, if you know you're not capable of driving home, call. No questions asked. Just remember, you can always call."

Now, no worries, there was nothing illegal going on at that middle school party, but it brought me to a wonderful revelation.

I could call.

It grew our trust and although I've never used the offer, I've come pretty close. It's a beautiful thing to offer your children. You'll probably get a, "Mom, it'll be fine." or "Mom, no need to worry.", but that statement will stick with them, trust me.

Back to my freshmen.

Don't do anything ridiculously stupid, especially your freshmen year. I know a girl who was a senior my freshman year, who did something very foolish and naive when she was in 9th grade ( I'd rather not go into detail) and yet they were STILL talking about it my freshman year. Four freaking years later and the tale lived on. Moral here is, please, don't do anything stupid.

Also, if you ask for directions and somebody tells you it's up three flights of stairs, next to the pool and the stairway to the roof, they're probably lying. Unless your school has three flights of stairs, a pool, and a student accessible roof. But I still wouldn't take their word for it.

Have a fabulous day.


Want to continue on with the series?
Ugh. High School. Post #4

Ehh.

The smell of rain and newly mowed grass fills the air around my house. The sweet combination is one I've missed for quite some time. A little moment of fabulous in my currently cluttered life.

I've been getting a feeling of unsatisfaction in everything I do recently. Things that used to make me feel happy I now brush off with an uninterested "ehh". It's like when you start using drugs and then you slowly have to do more and more and more and more to get that same feeling that you experienced the first time. (You can totally tell I'm in high school from that analogy but you get the point.)

I don't know what it is, but I'm beginning to get extremely irritated with it.

I'm usually not the one to have an insufficient amount of happiness in my life either, making things all the more hard. And it's not like I'm sinking into depression or anything, I'm just at a standstill moment. I'm in the valley of my mountain. At my low, soon to embark on a high. Being pricked with a thorn, only a couple of inches from a rose.

I'm pretty determined to get out of this hole I'm stuck in. Let's hope for the best.

Have a fabulous day.