Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Nothing Will Ever Be Good Enough

I wrote a guest post last week and I'm expecting it to be published some time in the coming days. And with this guest post being published, I'm expecting an increase in blog traffic for the days following. And with this increase, I wanted to have an amazing post to be the first thing people saw when they visited my blog. So as soon as I completed my guest post, I began writing another. And when that one didn't suit me, I started another. And then another when that post fell dead. And then another. And another.

I wrote five previous post before this one hit me.

Who knows, maybe this one won't be the one eitherMaybe I'll write five more after this one before my brain has an epiphany and bursts out an incredible post that will make people want to stick around at this old blog of mine.

But all these feelings of never being satisfied over a simple blog post is a common characteristic of my life. Things are never good enough for me. That 96 on my English test mocks me because I was so close to a hundred. If I had just answered one more question right it could've been a 98. And yet the kid next to me who just made an 80 is completely satisfied—elated even—because he passed the test. Then I'm left feeling selfish because I'm sure this kid would give his first born for my grade and here I am whining over an A.

Honestly, writing this blog is helping me realize who I am. I mean, who needs to have a crazy one year soul seeking journey through Brazil to find their true inner being, when you could just start a blog? When I reread old posts, I notice little things I say or mention and I see how that translates to who I am. And sometimes, when I sit down to write a blog post, I say what I really am thinking and it's crazy how one thing turns into another and I start confessing about how nothing is ever good enough for me.

I highly recommend starting a blog, whether you be a teenager or an adult because you'll really start to find out who you really are.

And I don't really like the name of this blog post, because it makes it sounds like because nothing will ever be good enough for you, you then have to settle. Or you have to go with the next best thing. Or you have to be okay with choosing your second choice. Or going with your plan B.

Because, I'm not one to settle, which seems contradictory considering that I claim that nothing will ever be just right for me. But the things that I'm not okay with or the things that I don't think are good enough, are things that I do myself.  It's not that I think that all my friends aren't good enough for me or that the surprise party that my parents gave me wasn't good enough for me, it's the blog post that I wrote. Or the outfit that I picked out. Or the grade on the history test that I made. Or the picture that I took. 

It's a feeling that goes hand in hand with being a perfectionist. (Which the by the way, I hate that word.)
So you have to remind yourself sometimes that you're doing the best that you can do. You are trying as hard as you can. You couldn't have done any better on that English paper. What's done is done.

And sometimes you have to bring your goals to a realistic level. Remind yourself that you're only in high school or that you're only one person. There is only so much one can do and there's nothing wrong with doing more than is expected, but sometimes you just can't do it all. Try not to set the bar too high or you'll only fall to the ground empty handed.

Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that we are only human.

Have a fabulous day.

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